Dear Paige
by random fanfic writer
Summary: What if Paige wrote the Grapevine's advice column? Remember, she's not mean, she's right. Chapter 2 Family Politics advice column
1. Mother and Child Reunion

**A/N: Just a little thing I've had stuck in my head for a while. I love Paige's character, but haven't really found a place for her in any of my other fics. I will add other episodes if this one is well received. Who am I kidding? I'll add new episodes anyway because I love writing Paige. Let me know if there's an episode you'd like to see the Dear Paige column from and I'll move it to the top of my list.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi. I only wish I did.**

**Mother and Child Reunion:**

Dear Paige,

I have been talking to this guy on-line for a while and I think I'm in love. He's not from around here, but he's going to be in Toronto this weekend. My friends don't think that I should meet with him because he's a little bit older. I don't know what to do. Should I go after the man of my dreams or listen to my friends? Thanks for your help!

Incoming Overachiever

Dear Incoming,

Hun, back it up just a little bit. You've never met this person and you're 'in love.' Doubtful. Everyone knows that love has to be with an actual person. Not a screen name. Hello, where do you think love at first sight comes from? That's right, first sight, not first e-mail. And everyone knows you can't have 'true love' until you've seen his ride.

As to an on-line guy in general, how do you know he's not some crazy stalker? Any guy that has to use the internet to find a girl is so obviously a loser in training. I mean, all sorts of things might be wrong with him, severe B.O. or horrible burns on strange parts of his body? I'm sure you're like, but I've seen his picture! Umm, yeah, my on-line profile has a picture of Lindsay Lohan. Not that I'm not already obviously hotter than her, but you get my point, right?

My final piece of advice is to always trust your friends. When you like somebody, your mind gets all cluttered and you do crazy things like trying to match polka dot tops with striped skirts. It's not pretty. But your friends know you really well and unless they're backstabbing edited by Grapevine staff (I was so going to type 'dogs') who just want your man, chances are they are just looking out for you. Unless you're friends with Heather Sinclair and then you should run screaming for the hills.

So, to sum up. Welcome to Degrassi, stay away from Heather Sinclair, trust your friends and no internet boyfriends – they are so the one-way track to loserville or worse.

Remember, I'm not mean, I'm right.

Cuddles!

Paige


	2. Family Politics

**A/N: So I finally got the Season 1 DVD hence the inspiration/ability to continue this. I've decided to do the episodes in order - one reason being I only have season 1 at my disposal currently and another reason being Paige, while she remains sassy and wonderful throughout the 4 seasons, really does mature and change, so her column will mature and change with her.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Degrassi I would not be frantically trying to complete weekend assignments. (In other words, I wish!)**

Dear Paige,

My friend showed up from summer with a whole new look. We used to be really close, but now she's all about appearance. I don't know how to tell her she's acting like an idiot. That's not true. I do have one idea. I could write to her new advice column!

A Concerned Grade 8 Friend

Dear "Friend,"

Whatever. You are so obviously jealous of the "new look, new Paige." Hun, green is so not your color. Try to tone the envy down, okay? Someone might mistake you for Heather Sinclair.

Remember, I'm not mean, I'm right.

Cuddles!

Paige

Dear Paige,

I can't take it! The Grade 8's are everywhere: harassing us about made up hall passes, stepping on our papers, throwing spit balls, dragging us down hall ways. How can we survive our first year at Degrassi and stay sane?

Lowly Grade 7

Dear Seven,

Sweetie, grow up. Junior high is not supposed to be fun. Unless you're popular, like me. For the rest of you, so I hear, it's a horrible time to 'find yourself' and 'be awkward.' Every grade 8 went through this their first year. If some 8's are immature enough to do the same stupid things, just remember that even though you are a year younger, you're obviously more mature. And when you're a Grade 8 try to be the bigger person. Or you could be smart and blackmail them.

Remember, I'm not mean, I'm right.

Cuddles!

Paige

Dear Paige,

I am stuck in a forced living situation with my dad's girlfriend and her daughter; let's call her Mary Poppins.Mary truly is 'practically perfect in everyway' and it's driving me crazy. She constantly reminds me that it's her house, her bathroom, her family and that Degrassi is her school. I want my dad to be happy, but I can't stand to be around her another moment! Help!

Annoyed by Perfection

Dear Annoyed,

Trust me if there's someone who's sick of a person being as scarily, sickeningly wonderful at getting what she wants as your stepsister seems to be, it's moi! (Yeah, yeah, not your stepsister. Whatever.) You should meet my friend. I'm sure Mr. Raditch would like me to say something helpful like deal with Mary P; you're a family now, but my personal motto has always been don't get angry - or annoyed, either– get even! I've even got a couple suggestions on how to do so! You could (EDITED BY GRAPEVINE STAFF) or you could (EDITED BY GRAPEVINE STAFF). If none of that works you could always (EDITED BY GRAPEVINE STAFF).

Mr. Raditch, I am so trying to be helpful here! Fine. Find something your pseudo stepsister really wants and then sabotage – I mean - help her with it. Nothing says family like working together. Except buying a really expensive gift, like a purse, for that sister. Dylan, this means you.

Remember I'm not mean, I'm right.

Cuddles!

Paige


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